Surviving an Affair

Admitting that your wife had an affair can be a very difficult thing to come to terms with

It's not somehow easier for a woman to admit her husband has cheated on her, either, but a woman generally has an easier time speaking up and expressing her emotions than a man might. This doesn't mean that a man doesn't feel the pain cut just as deeply as a woman will upon learning that his wife has cheated on him.

In this post, I will share some outdated ideas about infidelity. In addition, I'll offer help to the men who are struggling with the challenge of admitting "my wife cheated on me." Please read on…

Common infidelity misconceptions

To begin with, there are still some outdated ideas about infidelity. Occasionally I will run across what I can only consider "sensation-generating" articles, and readers' comments on those articles, which serve to perpetuate one old saw about infidelity: "Men are biologically driven to spread their seed far and wide."

That's an insult to men. It removes their power of higher thinking out of the decision-making equation, making their thinking capabilities strictly at the mercy of a biological imperative, just as a tree is biologically driven to produce and shed seeds to be carried on the wind to distant fertile soil.

And if you go with this line of reasoning, that men can't "control" themselves… then what is the excuse for cheating women? Do they have an uncontrollable urge to spread their seed far and wide? No one has ever suggested that, and yet, the statistics support that women cheat as much as men do, so "biological imperatives" need to be pushed into the background as faulty reasoning. (And a poor attempt at an excuse.)

However, with this outmoded mindset, it's understandable that a man struggles to say "my wife cheated on me." If you accept that only men are driven to cheat, then what does it mean if a man's wife cheats on him? If a man's wife cheats on him, and he holds to this outdated thinking about infidelity, in the back of his mind he may fear that some people are thinking, "His wife cheated? Well, what's wrong with him?"

This is why it is so difficult for men to accept that women can and do cheat in relationships.

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